The Scrapbook
by hollister9
Summary: They didn't agree on much. In fact, they rarely agreed on anything. They fought all the time, and challenged each other every day, but in spite of their differences they had one important thing in common. They were crazy about each other. Sirius/Hermione


**The Scrapbook**

by

_**Hollister9**_

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_**A/N: **This story was inspired by Jeff Buckley's 'Hallelujah', so if you like, you can listen to it as you read. It is unlike any of my other stories, but I hope you enjoy the journey! -hollister9  
_

There Hermione stood, facing her empty wardrobe. All her clothes were piled neatly in her suitcase on the bed, _their_ bed, zipped and ready to go. She breathed in shakily and turned to pick it up, refusing to cry as she walked the few short steps to the door and took one last look around the bedroom that they had shared. She had slept in this room, on that bed, dreaming sweet somethings for over eight hundred nights. One hundred and fifty weeks. Merlin knows how many hours.

She thought she'd finished with all the goodbyes when she left on the hunt for Horcruxes. All those last quick glances over her shoulder before she shut the door, not knowing when she'd walk back through it again. But she hadn't had she? She was leaving home again. Leaving the flat she had shared with _him_.

They had been together for three years, and what a rocky rollercoaster it had been. Some days were fine – better than fine… actually, they were perfect.

He could make her laugh like no one else could, for hours… lounging on the sofa, wrapped in his arms and laughing at something that wouldn't have been remotely funny to anyone else. She was so young and good natured, a bit of a church-on- Sunday girl with her pale pink cardigans which reminded you of your Granny, and he was rash, reckless and could charm your tits off. He was wise with experience and tainted with a horrible pain, but it went away when he was with her. The dark look in his eye faded, and his crooked grin was all genuine.

He'd changed her for the best. The cardigans went… the books didn't, and neither did her intelligence or stubbornness. Sirius saw nothing but beauty. She was beautiful. He was beautiful. Together, they were beautiful, and everyone saw it. She was so comfortable with him and he with her, and days could roll by so easily when they were like that.

He left her gasping and tingling all over after sex. They had sex a lot, simply because they couldn't keep their hands off each other. Their bed, the sofa, the shower, the kitchen table – counter – floor, in the broom cupboard at the Burrow, the bike shed, at her parent's house… it was manic, at times infuriating, and passionate and tender all at once. He left her exhausted, yes. Sleepy, yes… but completely and utterly satisfied. Only Sirius could make her feel that.

Not every day was honeymoon perfect though. Sometimes fine didn't cover it; there were awful days too. With two people as stubborn and opinionated as Sirius and Hermione, it was always going to be difficult. They argued about everything they disagreed on, heated shouting matches in the kitchen, Sirius throwing plates at the wall, Hermione slapping him and storming up the stairs. Sometimes they didn't speak for days after. Hermione had threatened to leave him before, had packed her suitcase and stood at the door with it many times, and always the same thing happened.

He would clutch her hands, kiss her lips, cheeks, neck, get down on his knees and beg her not to leave him. He sounded so sincere – so heartbroken and desperate every time, that she couldn't find it in herself to walk away from him.

Today, January 1st, she did.

He was leaning against the kitchen counter when she appeared in the hallway, dressed in a coat with her shoes on. He raised his head to look at her, knowing what was coming.

Her suitcase next to the door confirmed it.

"Going somewhere?" he said through the silence.

"Yes. Ireland… or Scotland. We're not sure yet," she replied.

"Who's the man you're leaving me for?" he asked.

His voice had a soft urgency to it, and she was sure he was shaking. Knowing him, it was probably with anger.

She chose to ignore his last comment.

"I'm meeting Ginny at the train station in five minutes. We're going together."

"So Ginny and Harry suddenly break up and you decide to break up with me too and go away on a merry little trip together? Is that it?"

Hermione sighed and nodded.

"Yes, that's it."

Sirius stopped dead and stared at her, a mixture of emotions passing over his handsome face.

"Oh God…" he breathed, "You're really breaking up with me?"

She nodded again, and he rushed over to her desperately, knocking a chair to the floor. She was expecting this. It was his 'pull the puppy dog eye look and say a few sweet words to win her back' act and Sirius had it mastered.

"Don't do this Hermione, please…" he begged her, "I know I'm a barstard at times, but I won't be any more I promise… we can work it out. We always do. Please stay. I need you. I need you so much. Don't leave me."

He was cupping her face in his hands, his forehead pressed against hers. They were so close that she could see the tears leaking in the corners of his grey eyes.

"No Sirius-"

"Hermione, we're great together and you know we are! _Everyone_ knows it! If you go you'll be breaking our promise… that promise we made in bed last night after celebrating New Year-!"

"I didn't promise you anything-"

"Yes you did, and don't tell me you didn't! We were in each other's arms – in _our_ bed – you looked me in the eye and promised me that we would be together forever! I believed you, and now you're breaking up with me? THIS WAS YESTERDAY HERMIONE, I BELIEVED YOU!"

"I have to break up with you Sirius – I _want_ to-!"

"Why?!"

"Because I'm _tired_. I'm tired of our fights and picking the smashed pieces of china off the floor after! I'm tired of your trips to the pub, your drinking, and your constant paranoia that I'm cheating on you when you're the one that chats up other women! I'm tired of your immaturity and carelessness! I'm tired of _us!_ I thought you could make me happy Sirius, you did at the beginning… we were so in love weren't we?"

"We still are."

"The candle has burnt out."

"No it hasn't-"

"Nothing lasts forever Sirius."

Her voice lapsed into silence and he just stood staring at her, his eyes wide and shining with tears; casting her mind as far back as she could remember,- even at the Battle at the Department of Mysteries all those years ago, she had never seen him like this, so close to losing it. It was because he knew what was coming. He knew that this time would be the last time. He knew it was over.

She raised her chin and timidly called it.

"We're not meant to be Sirius. I'm sorry."

"Don't say that!" He went for her, wrapped his arms right around her, almost as if speaking the unspoken words that were at the tip of his tongue.

_I don't want to lose you. I'll never let go. _

"We belong together, you, me and fuck everyone else! That's what we used to say wasn't it?" she didn't reply and he held on to her. She used to think his possessiveness was sexy and cute- in this situation it wasn't.

"I need you Hermione. I don't make sense without you. You make me feel young again…" he trailed off and stoked her cheek, speaking softly. "I need you."

She watched his tears run and he watched hers. She could feel him shaking underneath her fingertips. It reminded her of Padfoot, scurrying through the door shivering after running out in the rain.

She sighed and ran a hand through his shaggy hair, like she had so many other times. He closed his eyes and nestled his face into her warm neck; she couldn't make out his words, only a low mumble. A little smile appeared across her lips.

"See? You said it yourself. You _need _me. I don't need you. I never did… I loved you and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you. There's a difference."

He drew back, opened his mouth to protest but was stopped by her finger over his lips. "No."

It was strange - holding him as he cried, because it had been him holding her for three years, his tattooed fingers running through her hair, not the other way round. His eyes kept flickering over her face, saving it to memory, and the kisses, sweet and searing kept coming.

They stayed like that for a long time and when she left, it was with a confidence that he'd be fine. She knew he'd be fine. Both their hearts had been broken, but sometimes that was the way it had to be. Sometimes you can't live with a person, but you can't live without them either. Boarding the train with Ginny, she knew she had done the right thing.

"It's hard to forget the people who gave you so much to remember," Ginny said to her over the chug of the train. Hermione tore her gaze from the rain trickling down the window and glanced at her. She was thinking about Harry. Dumbledore had told them all that at the first Order meeting after Sirius's death; they were fourteen and fifteen, stricken with grief and he'd known exactly what to say. Sirius came back the night Bellatrix died and the words had been long forgotten… to her at least.

It wasn't until they settled down for sleep later that night she understood it. Ginny had fallen asleep and she was sitting cross legged on the top bunk, listening to the faint sounds of the cities passing them by. She was looking at her lap, at the tatty maroon scrapbook which held snippets of the most powerful and intimate love she'd ever experienced in her life. Every letter, every photograph… She was sure there were restaurant receipts and concert tickets too… everything she'd done with him was stored in here.

'_In order to move on you need to look back. It's just a chapter in the past. Don't close the book. Turn the page._'

She smoothed her fingers over the cover and began the journey.

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_**E/N: **Apart from this chapter and the last, the story will be made up of one-shots. If there is any scenes that you have in your head that you would like me to write for one of Sirius and Hermione's memories, drop me a review with the idea/prompt and I may write it as a future chapter. Next memory chapter is coming tomorrow with the prompt 'Music is what feelings sound like'. Keep your eyes peeled ;)** -hollister9 x**_


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